220 Heart Puns (Valentine, One Liners, Anatomy, Attack, Etc.)

Whether you’re wooing a Valentine, making your friends groan with a perfectly cheesy one-liner, or nerding out over cardiac anatomy, heart puns are where it’s at. This list of 220 pun-packed gems is bursting with love, laughter, and a few medically inspired giggles.

From sweet and romantic to delightfully ridiculous, we’ve got puns for every occasion—whether you’re writing a card, cracking a joke, or naming a heart-themed project.

Warning: these puns may cause uncontrollable smiling and increased affection. Proceed with hearty enthusiasm! 💘

Cute & Funny Puns About The Human Heart

1. You make my heart skip a beet.
2. Always follow your heart, it artery knows.
3. I got a reel heart-to-heart connection with my insta friend.
4. You’ve got a lot of heart, and that’s just ventricle.
5. Keep calm and get to the heart of it.
6. Love is my cardio.
7. My heart beats for you in perfect harmony.
8. Don’t go breaking my aorta.
9. Pulse check: still falling for you.
10. You have the key to my coronary.
11. Just venting about my heart’s feelings.
12. My heart’s under cardiac arrest for you.
13. Let’s valve some fun together.
14. Our love story is artery-written.
15. Heart you talking about me?
16. Love at first beat.
17. Your love is my favorite cardiac rhythm.
18. You’re the apple to my heart’s pie—sweet, irresistible, and always the best part.
19. You must be a defibrillator because you just shocked my heart back to life.
20. I wear my heart on my sleeve… because it’s the only place I won’t lose it.

Heart Puns For Valentine’s Day

1. I aorta tell you how much I love you.
2. You’re the heart-throb of my life.
3. I can heartily wait to see you.
4. You’re the peanut butter to my jelly, my sweet heart.
5. Are you a defibrillator? Because you are sending shocks to my heart.
6. You’re the heartbeat to my soul, always keeping me alive.
7. My heart beats for you like a drum on Valentine’s Day.
8. You’re the heart of my world, and I love every beat.
9. I lub dub you with all my heart.
10. You’re the “beet” of my heart, and I love it.
11. You stole my heart and now you’re holding it hostage.
12. I followed my heart to you.
13. You don’t need to pay rent to live inside my heart.
14. My heart is “pumped” up for you.
15. You’re the heart that makes my world go round.
16. You’re the heart of the matter in my life.
17. My heart is a puzzle, and you’re the missing piece.
18. You’re the heartwarming spark that lights up my life.
19. With you, my heart is always in “mint” condition.
20. You’re the heartbeat in my love story.

Short Heart Puns One Liners

1. You make my heart skip a beet.
2. Always follow your heart, it artery knows.
3. Love is my cardio.
4. My heart beats for you in perfect harmony.
5. Don’t go breaking my aorta.
6. Pulse check: still falling for you.
7. You have the key to my coronary.
8. Just venting about my heart’s feelings.
9. My heart’s under cardiac arrest for you.
10. Let’s valve some fun together.
11. Our love story is artery-written.
12. Heart you talking about me?
13. Love at first beat.
14. Your love is my favorite cardiac rhythm.
15. Heart and soul, you’re my goal.
16. Heart-struck and love-struck.
17. A heartbeat away from paradise.
18. You’re the heart of my world!
19. My heart is so full of love, I think it’s developing a crush on my brain.
20. You make my heart race faster than caffeine on a Monday morning!

Heart Anatomy Puns

1. My grandfather had a heart of a lion! And a lifetime ban from the zoo!
2. What did one artery say to the other? “You’re so vein!”
3. Why was the cardiologist a great musician? He had good rhythm.
4. What do you call a heart that’s always cold? An iceolated heart!
5. How does a heart apologize? “I’m aorta-fully sorry!”
6. Why did the heart break up with the brain? Because it needed some space to beat!
7. What did the cardiologist say to the broken heart? “Looks like you need a little bypass.”
8. Why are hearts so good at keeping secrets? Because they’re good at valve-ing their emotions.
9. What’s a cardiologist’s favorite movie? “The Beat-les’ Greatest Hits!”
10. Why was the cardiac patient always on time? Because they had great pacing.
11. Why was the heart embarrassed? It had a little flutter.
12. Why did the heart apply for a new job? It wanted a fresh start!
13. What do you call a heart that can sing? A chord-iologist!
14. Why did the heart become a musician? It just wanted to pump up the crowd.
15. What’s a heart’s favorite exercise? Cardio!
16. Why don’t hearts ever get lost? They always know their way around the ventricles.
17. What did the cardiologist say to the impatient heart? “Relax, it’s just a stress test.”
18. Why was the heart so excited? It just couldn’t contain its a-fib!
19. What’s a heart’s favorite kind of party? A block party!
20. Why was the heart so good at poker? It always kept its cardiac close to the chest.

Heart Attack Puns

1. My heart skips a beat whenever I see the bill.
2. I had a heart attack when I saw the price of that new gadget.
3. Why did the cardiologist break up with the pulmonologist? They just couldn’t see heart-to-lung.
4. I’m reading a book about the human heart. It’s truly heart-stopping!
5. My heart told me to eat more vegetables…but the rest of me overruled it.
6. What do you call a heart that’s always right? Accurate-artery.
7. I wrote a song about my heart, but it’s still a work in progress. It needs more…heart.
8. My heart is like a hotel; there’s always room for more love.
9. I went to a heart-themed party last night. It was aorta fun!
10. Why did the heart go to school? To get a little culture!
11. Two cardiologists were arguing, one pulled out a pacemaker and said, “Want to settle this heart to heart?”
12. I’m feeling a bit down in the dumps, but I know my heart will cheer me up eventually. It’s a real pump-up machine!
13. My heart is so full of love, I think it’s developing a crush on my brain. It’s a real head-over-heels situation!
14. My heart is a terrible artist; it only draws you.
15. What do you call a heart that’s always on time? Punctual ventricle.
16. My heart is a terrible chef; it keeps serving up butterflies.
17. I tried to have a heart-to-heart with my stomach, but it just wanted food.
18. My heart is a terrible driver; it always takes U-turns when I see you.
19. My heart is a terrible student; it only studies you.
20. Why did the heart get a promotion? It had a lot of heart.

Biology Heart Puns

1. My heart beats for cardiology.
2. What did one artery say to the other? “You’re so vein!”
3. Why was the cardiologist a great musician? He had good rhythm.
4. Why did the patient break up with the cardiologist? They had too many heart-to-hearts.
5. What do you call a heart that’s always cold? An iceolated heart!
6. How does a heart apologize? “I’m aorta-fully sorry!”
7. Why did the heart break up with the brain? Because it needed some space to beat!
8. Why do cardiologists make good friends? They always know how to keep things pumping.
9. What’s a cardiologist’s favorite movie? “The Beat-les’ Greatest Hits!”
10. Why was the cardiac patient always on time? Because they had great pacing.
11. Why was the heart embarrassed? It had a little flutter.
12. Why did the heart apply for a new job? It wanted a fresh start!
13. What do you call a heart that can sing? A chord-iologist!
14. Why did the heart become a musician? It just wanted to pump up the crowd.
15. What’s a heart’s favorite exercise? Cardio!
16. Why don’t hearts ever get lost? They always know their way around the ventricles.
17. What did the cardiologist say to the impatient heart? “Relax, it’s just a stress test.”
18. Why was the heart so excited? It just couldn’t contain its a-fib!
19. What’s a heart’s favorite kind of party? A block party!
20. Why was the heart so good at poker? It always kept its cardiac close to the chest.

Broken Heart Puns

1. My heart is a puzzle, and you’re the missing piece that broke it.
2. I’m not crying; I’m just allergic to heartbreak.
3. Heartbreak is like a bad haircut—it’ll grow back, but it’s still a mess.
4. You broke my heart, but I guess that’s just a ventricular issue.
5. I’m heartbroken, but I’ll mend it with some emotional CPR.
6. My heart is under cardiac arrest because of you.
7. Don’t go breaking my heart; I won’t go flatline on you.
8. Heartbreak is like a virus; it’s contagious and hurts.
9. I’m stuck on you like a heart sticking to an artery, even after the breakup.
10. My heart’s not just broken; it’s been bypassed.
11. You’ve stolen my heart, but don’t worry, I have a backup cardiovascular system.
12. Heartbreak is a battlefield, and my heart is a veteran.
13. I’ve been learning the steps, but you keep leading my heart astray.
14. My heart’s not just open; it’s accepting new applicants, but not yours.
15. I’d give you my heart, but I’m really attached to it—literally.
16. Heartbreak is like a bad recipe; it’s a mix of sadness and regret.
17. You broke my heart into pieces, but I’ll glue it back together.
18. My heart is a ship that’s lost its harbor, thanks to you.
19. Heartbreak is a grand adventure, but now it’s just a bland un-venture.
20. My heart is full of tears, but I’m just a well of sorrow after our breakup.

Heart Disease Puns

1. My heart is racing, but I’m trying to play it cool.
2. What did one artery say to the other? “You’re so vein!”
3. Why did the cardiologist bring a ladder to work? To reach new heights in heart health.
4. My heart just told me it’s ready for a workout; it’s feeling a bit out of shape!
5. I told my cardiologist I was feeling down; he said it was just a minor arrhythmia.
6. Why did the heart go to school? To improve its circulation!
7. My heart is like a good book—full of twists and turns.
8. I asked my heart why it was so heavy. It said it was full of love.
9. Cardiologists are great at their jobs; they really know how to keep the rhythm.
10. Why did the patient break up with the cardiologist? They had too many heart-to-hearts.
11. What do you call a heart that’s always cold? An iceolated heart!
12. How does a heart apologize? “I’m aorta-fully sorry!”
13. Why did the heart break up with the brain? Because it needed some space to beat!
14. Don’t put all your eggs in one heart basket.
15. My heart and I have an agreement: it beats for me, and I keep it in shape.
16. Why are hearts so good at keeping secrets? Because they’re good at valve-ing their emotions.
17. My heart is in a committed relationship—it’s all about that valve of love.
18. When I asked my cardiologist if I was fit, he said I was a real heart-throb.
19. My heart has been in a state of cardiac arrest since I saw that cute doctor.
20. I tried to get my heart to skip a beat, but it just wanted to keep the rhythm.

Heart Failure Puns

1. My heart is failing, but my love for you is still pumping.
2. Heart failure? More like heart full of love.
3. I’m experiencing heart failure, but my feelings for you are still beating strong.
4. Why did the heart go to therapy? It had a failure to communicate.
5. Heart failure is when your heart can’t keep up with your love.
6. My cardiologist said I have a heart of gold, but it’s starting to rust from all the heartbreak.
7. Heart failure is just a condition; my love for you is the real cure.
8. When the heart fails, it’s not the end; it’s just a new beat.
9. Heart failure? I think it’s just my heart trying to escape all the love.
10. Why did the heart go to the gym? To pump up its failing health.
11. Heart failure is when your heart can’t handle all the love it’s receiving.
12. My heart is failing, but my love for you is still on the right beat.
13. What did the cardiologist say to the failing heart? “You need a little bypass.”
14. Heart failure is just a minor setback; my love will keep it beating.
15. Why did the heart fail the test? It couldn’t keep up with the pressure.
16. My heart is failing, but my love for you is still the best medicine.
17. Heart failure? More like heart full of life.
18. When the heart fails, it’s not the end; it’s just a new rhythm.
19. Why did the heart go to the doctor? It had a failure to function properly.
20. Heart failure is when your heart can’t keep up with your emotions; my love for you is the real heartstopper.

Heart Health Puns

1. My heart’s a terrible financial advisor; it tells me to spend all my money.
2. I told my heart to stop being so dramatic, it said, “I can’t help it, I’m just full of feeling!”
3. My heart’s on airplane mode, it refuses to connect.
4. What’s a heart’s favorite game? Beat Saber!
5. My heart said “follow your dreams,” so I went back to bed.
6. My heart is an open book, but it’s written in EKG.
7. I asked my heart if it was happy. It gave me a thump-s up!
8. Why did the heart start a band? It wanted to create some heart-felt music.
9. My heart has a sweet tooth, it’s always craving chocolate arteries.
10. What do you call a nervous heart? A flutterbug.
11. My heart’s a hopeless romantic; it believes in love at first sight, sound, and even smell.
12. I tried to reason with my heart, but it has a mind of its own. It’s a real cardiac rebel.
13. What did the heart say to the lungs? “We make a great team!”
14. My heart is currently under construction; please pardon the emotional detours.
15. My heart needs glasses; it keeps mistaking acquaintances for soulmates.
16. My heart is a terrible chef; it keeps serving up butterflies.
17. Why did the heart get a promotion? It had a lot of heart.
18. My heart is a terrible writer; it only writes love letters.
19. What do you call a heart that loves to gamble? A risky ventricle.
20. You make my heart skip a beat—time for a check-up!

Heart Surgery Puns

1. I aorta tell you how much I love heart surgery puns.
2. Heart surgery is a real cut above the rest.
3. The surgeon was a heart-throb on the operating table.
4. Why did the heart go to surgery? It needed a little bypass.
5. Heart surgeons are sew brilliant!
6. What did the heart say to the surgeon? “You’re a real lifesaver.”
7. The cardiologist’s favorite music? Anything with a good beat.
8. Heart surgery is all about getting to the heart of the matter.
9. Why did the surgeon take a ladder to the operating room? He heard the cases were reaching new heights.
10. I tried to explain my heart condition, but it was a real prescription for confusion.
11. The surgeon had a heart of steel and hands of gold.
12. Cardiac surgeons can fix hearts without missing a beat.
13. Heart surgery is a real stitch in time.
14. What do you call a heart that’s always cold? An iceolated heart!
15. The surgeon’s motto? Make every cut count.
16. When life’s in stitches, call a heart surgeon!
17. Heart surgeons are great at puzzles because they excel in precise fits.
18. Why did the heart break up with the brain? Because it needed some space to beat!
19. The surgeon’s precision is no room for mis-stakes.
20. Heart surgeons don’t just stitch up wounds, they sew-lutions!

Heartfelt Humor: A Guide to Heart-warming Puns

Feeling a bit “heartbroken” from a lack of humor? Don’t worry, these “heart-warming” puns are guaranteed to have you “pumping” with laughter!

Cardiac Comedy:

• Let the Good Times “Beat”: Let your puns “circulate” joy throughout your audience.
• Heart-to-Heart Humor: Get everyone “artery”-ally laughing during your next friendly gathering.
• Love is in the Air (and in the Heart): Woo your sweetheart with puns that are both “sweet” and “heartfelt.”

Social Media Stethoscopes:

• “Heart”-felt Photos: Share “picture-perfect” photos of heart-themed items or moments with punny captions.
• Tweet-worthy Throbs: Share “heart” stories with your followers, complete with punny commentary.

Unleash Your Inner Cardiologist (or Romantic):

• “Pump” Up the Humor: Infuse your love notes or medical blog with a touch of “heart-warming” humor.
• Marketing Masterpiece: Use heart puns to “attract” customers to your Valentine’s Day sale or health clinic.

Remember to “Keep Your Humor Beating”:

• Don’t “Over-Strain” It: A few well-placed puns are all you “knead.”
• Delivery is Key: “Pulse” with confidence and a playful tone.
• Get Creative: Make up your own heart puns! They’ll be “cardiac” arrestingly funny.

Now go forth and “heart” everyone with laughter!

I hope you “enjoy” these puns as much as you “enjoy” a warm, loving embrace!